Soul Activists

Pieces & Parts

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I only remember pieces and parts.

I remember faces but not many names.

I'm embarrassed to ask. Especially if I have known the person for years.

"I should remember," I tell myself.

My close friends know I struggle. I use to be able to remember details.

In meetings I remain quiet.

Scared to contribute.

Mostly because it takes me the first half of the conversation to figure out what the hell is happening or what we are talking about.

My co-worker and friend looks over at me. She knows I'm lost and smiles. She begins to speak to the group and starts by saying, "Just so we are all on the same page..." and proceeds to summarize the project to the WHOLE group...But really we both know it's for me. I flash her a "Thank you" smile. She has to remind me of conversations we have had many times. She is patient and makes light of the situation.

Today my doctor repeated to me again "At this point, one year out from your stroke, your brain will probably remain this way."

So... I say to each of you....

If I forget your name it doesn't mean that I don't know you or your spirit. I might just need a gentle reminder. I might forget names, but I don't forget feelings and experiences. No more pretending, no more waiting for a life line. #truth

Much Love,

Ylonda

#survivingastroke #awaketomysoul #truth #nomorepretending #badmemory #noshorttermmemory

Courageous Heart

The truth is I still get scared. My heart still feels like it might just beat out of my chest. I cry. I doubt. I have a fleeting thought to run fast, to get out of it. Then I remember who I am. I remember my purpose. So... I keep moving past the fear. The faster my heart beats from here the more I know I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to call on my courageous heart.


Vinyasa Cello and Chanting hits the road.


#vinyasacelloandchanting #awaketomysoul #playingsmallisnolongeranoption #Philadelphia #chicago #atlanta #cleveland #washingtondc

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Girl Power

I was recently reminded by my friend, Diana -about the power women have together. It got me thinking. It’s important in the climate we live in to have cheerleaders who can rally behind you and spur you forward. When the naysayers are telling you, you can’t, these girls are saying ‘go and conquer’! A true sister will know, love + honour herself and then be able to fully love, honour and confidently empower you.…And you know what can happen when a gathering of women come together? Walls better watch themselves because they’ll come tumbling down.

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I'm Ready

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Being vulnerable with ourselves enough to hear our soul call, and then to turn around and share it with the world is your gift, your greatest strength. The path of our higher calling is not for the faint of heart. It’s not easy, there will be challenges, and a level of uncertainty that will force us to master self-trust. Share your gift. This is the only thing we came here to do.

Joan of Arc said, “I’m not afraid. I was born to do this.”

I'm ready.

 

 

Photo credit: My friend, the beautiful and talented Rachel Natalia Burlon.

 

Today

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Today.

Today was the day I thought would never come.

The day that I wanted badly to happen.

The day I was so frighten of that it made me shrink and cry.

The day.

Today.

The day my friends {MY TRIBE}told me I was ready for.

"Ylonda, you should play for my 90 minute yin yoga class!", said yoga teacher and friend Joe Barnett, over dinner. I nodded my head and quickly changed the subject. This is what I did anytime anyone would ask me to play publicly. But he came right back to it.

I looked at one of my best friends (@soul_activist ), my teacher, my mentor. She knew my story. She knew my fear. WITHOUT SPEAKING A WORD, she gave me a look that said, "It's time to prove it to yourself. I believe in you but it's time for you to believe in you."

I knew she was right. THAT LOOK was right. It was time.

AND so I agreed. I had three days to get my head on straight. Three days where my tribe reminded me that it would be fine. They would hear NO excuses. They would however hear my fears. They would acknowledge them, but would not let me enable my fears to consume me.

And so I did it. With only 5 minutes of prepared music, I had to play not from paper, but straight from my heart.

So thank you my tribe.

Thank you for reminding me everyday that I have to follow my heart. Even when it's scary! Even if its 90 minutes and I am use to 5. Thank you for believing in me and walking with me. Thank you for reminding me that PLAY SMALL IS NO LONGER AN OPTION.