As many of you know 2.5 years ago at the age of 39 i suffered a stroke.
I have never told this story publicly as I get emotional every time my mind relives these series of events.
When I woke up in the ICU at the Cleveland Clinic I was very confused about where I was. The first day I was in and out of consciousness, but by day two I was fully alert and speaking. My words were slow and i stuttered alot, but i was completely aware.
I asked my nurse if she could help me to the restroom. She told me that there were no restrooms in the unit. Most, if not all the patients in that unit could not get up so there were no patient bathrooms. She then told me just how lucky I was to be alive.
My room had sliding glass panels for walls and one curtain to give me some privacy but i could hear what was happening in the bed/area next to me. In that area was a woman. I didn’t know why she was there but it was clear that she was in serious condition from all of the machines and tubes attached to her. I could hear her family come in and out of her area, talking to her and crying. Later in the middle of the night I woke up to the sound of beeping and alarms from her machines. The doctors rushed in to work on her. I could hear the desperation in their voices. On the other side of this curtain they worked frantically for almost an hour. They finally had to let her go. I remember praying for her and hoping that she was unaware and that she passed peacefully. It was one of the scariest moment of my life. Her life was just as valuable as mine but for some reason it was her time and not mine.
I hoped that she got the chance to say what she needed to to her family before whatever happened to her, happened.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. 🦋
Everyday I try to say what I need with love and compassion to all that know me. I hug my children and encourage them to live their wildest dreams.
I say no if I need to.
I say yes when my heart jumps.
I say I love you as much as I can.
Not a day goes by that I take this life for granted.
📸:the brilliant Nick Brilla